To be trusted online you need to be liked:
You need to be liked, and you start becoming likable by being worthy of being liked. Be kind. Be patient. Be humble, on time, and generous. Be that person you would like to be friends with.
Just as in real life, if you appear to be self-centered, only talking about yourself or your product, then nobody will want to listen to you.
It is easy to shoot down ideas, to play devil’s advocate. It is much harder to be creative and find ways to make things work. Here is an idea taken from improv comedy acts:
No matter what the situation, in improv the intention is always “yes, and.” The premise of this rule is that to collaborate, you can never crush a scene by saying no to the imagination of another participant. Thus, if two people are in a scene, and one advances the story in some way, it’s important to answer any question by first displaying your acceptance and ten advancing the story: “Yes, and . . . “
…
“you’ve added something, and you’re on the solution side of the equation
I have a very hard time staying on the positive side of ideas. It is easy for me to see why things won’t work and then putting the other person on the defensive. I am printing up a “Yes, and…” sign to put on my desk to remind me to contribute to a conversation rather than attack.
Have you ever heard of the term “abundance mentality”? It is a phrase coined by Dr. Stephen R. Covey in his powerful book the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Essentially, Dr. Covey recommends that we adjust the lens through which we see the world so that we see everything around us as abundant. Thus, if your coworker gets the promotion ahead of you, rejoice. There are other promotions to be had. In this mind-set, you don’t think about competitors. You just work hard at what you’re doing. It’s a frame, and if you think from that frame, the actions you take will be different than if you think the world is out to get you, that you’re the only one deserving of a promotion, and that your competitors are all evil scum.
I had heard something similar in relation to other insurance agencies. Our competition is not each other but the 3 Bs – Beer, BBQ, and Blockbuster.
Done sincerely, these 3 steps will make a world of difference.
- Acknowledge. Start any apology by telling the person that you accept that something happened.
- Apologize. Make sure you clearly and simply say that you’re sorry, with no excuses tacked on.
- Act. Explain what you’ll do to improve or rectify the situation.
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